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"Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears."
--Les Brown

Saturday, March 3, 2012

When I Must Leave You...

If anyone else just cannot stay away from pop culture gossip and events like me, you probably tuned in for at least some of Whitney Houston's funeral a couple weeks ago. Confession---during one part I actually burst into tears. The reason? One of the speakers read a poem that I remember from my Grandma's funeral service...or my Great-Grandfather's funeral service which was only 3 months after that. I am having a hard time remembering these details. I think what is more relevant is that I kept both of their service programs and in my scrapbook, this is the poem that I have on my pages devoted to her. She was, and is, by far one of my most favorite people in the entire world. I miss her so much. I would trade pretty much anything in the world for just one more day with her so that I could make sure she knew how much she means to me and that she could spend the day with Sydney and Cory. She would love both of them. But I am also of the mindset that she does spend her days with Sydney and with Cory. And when I meet her in Heaven she will tell me how well I did by choosing Cory and how great we did in raising Sydney. But again I digress...


On Thursday night, my maternal grandfather passed away. In 1998, he fought cancer and beat it. This affected his neck region and his treatment included removing all of his lymphnodes. During radiation, a hole was created in his esophagus. Since then, it has been a challenge for his body to receive nourishment because food literally falls in through hole. The other side of this is that the particles go into his lungs and created problems that way. Over time it just wore his body down. I should also explain that my relationship with him was very minimal for reasons outside of my control. As part of his extended family, I find peace that he is no longer in pain. He had been in hospice care since November and at the end, machines were controlling all aspects of his existence. His body had just failed him and he was ready to go, attempting to rip out the cords and pieces that were keeping him alive whenever he had the slightest bit of consciousness. My deepest deepest sympathy goes out to everyone who is hurting with his passing. Hopefully, they too will find solace in the below poem...

When I Must Leave You
by Helen Steiner Rice
When I must leave you
For a little while-
Please do not grieve
And shed wild tears
And hug your sorrow to you
Through the years,

But start out bravely
With a gallant smile;
And for my sake
And for my name
Live on and do
All things the same,

Feed not your lonliness
On empty days,
But fill each waking hour
In useful ways,

Reach out your hand
In comfort and in cheer
And I in turn will comfort you
And hold you near;

And never, never
Be afraid to die
For I am waiting for you in the sky!

Sydney at 20 months...Feb 2012

So I have decided that I should probably stop referring to my daughter's age in months. Non-toddler parents and non-parents just look at me like I am crazy! But I cannot say 1 (too much of a maturity difference) and 1 1/2 doesn't quite give her the same justice. So I have decided that she is "almost 2". And that, my dear friends, has begun to give me a slight anxiety attack. She is just growing so fast!!! She has so many new interests and developing interests that she is really coming into her own little personality. Some of this has been challenging, but not all of it. Most of it has made me incredibly proud to call her my little angel.

I am so happy that she is starting to warm up to the whole picture thing so now if she just knows she is being too cute, she will say picture! picture! and then she will say cheeeeeesssseeee!!!

I got her these glasses (Dora) so that she would kinda leave mine alone. It took her awhile to warm up to them, but we are getting there ha ha. She knows she is slick though. ha ha


I guess this is also the age that the want to be undressed starts to occur? I haven't looked up the information about this one, but this is how it plays out in this house...


And that brings us to our favorite... Reading! First, I have a slight bad mommy confession. Sydney gets to watch a lot of TV. I still don't know if it's considered a LOT of TV, but she has some distinct favorites that get played a lot more than I initially thought that I would let her watch. Dora, Elmo, Diego, Wonder Pets, Backyardigans, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She loves these guys. I used to fight back against the constant want for something to be on the TV, even on the weeknights. But after 8-9 hours of stimulation at daycare, I have started to give myself a break on this one. It helps us mellow out after long hard days at our respective daytime locations. It allows dinner to get made, dishes to get done, cleaning to be taken care of. And when it comes down to it, a happy mommy=a happy wife=a happy daughter (me to my dad and sydney to us)=a happy husband=a happy papa (my dad). And I am feeling like we really have a great system in place. It just works. So sue me if Sydney watches TV more than the doctor or psychologist recommended time. Obviously I am digressing from my initial start. What I meant to transition to is that we piggy back on this with balance. Sydney love certain shows, but she also loves reading. So we have tons of books around. Every night concludes with a book before bedtime. Sometimes we pause our tv watching for a book. Sometimes we read in the car. But the point is that this girl LOVES books. So much like her mama, I must admit. My first major injury was because of a book. Such a nerdy story right here...I was stacking my books nicely and organized on our front brick steps and I fell forward, somersaulted, and busted the back of my head opened. So it's in Sydney blood to be a reader. God bless her. She also loves hockey, she was so made for this family! So last night we combined both of our favorite pleasures and this was the result at the end of the night...


We also are starting to spend more time outside with the weather getting so nice. And that is great too. The other night it was about 75 when we got home so we went for walks and ran around the yard. And then she did the same when Daddy got home. And then she got to go for a walk around the block with Papa. This is helping us instill the good behavior while walking as well. The first walk she went on with Papa wasn't as smooth sailing. But the other night she made it all the way around without fighting against holding hands or trying to walk into someone's yard. That long walk gave Mommy a chance to get dinner together. It was amazing. Gotta love this girl!!!


Saturday, February 25, 2012

Happier Days...

So I do have a better update to provide. I don't have time to elaborate too much, but we are having much much better days with our dear Sydney. We have been having a great time singing, playing, and generally getting along. I have also accepted the fact that 1. she needs help to learn how to act right because they don't just come out that way and 2. It is only going to get worse in the next couple of years so I better just put on my big girl panties and get used to it. Patience is a virtue and hopefully over time it will become my virtue too! :) Thanks to all of those who have been sending encouraging and loving words my way, I definitely appreciate them!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Distraught...

My toddler, who also happens to be approaching the age of two, is terrible. I know that I should be more politically correct about the message coming across in this post, but I cannot help it. I am completely distraught with the events that have been going on with our little monkey. This post may seem all over the place but I am going to just try to talk this out...

I just don't know what is going on here since about Saturday. We had pink eye over the weekend so at first I thought we were just cranky because of that. Who wouldn't be cranky when they had pink eye...in both eyes. Sunday was sooo trying on the patience. And then Monday was ok. We spent the day at home together and it wasn't that bad. We painted and danced and had a good time. Tuesday doesn't stick out in my mind but Wednesday was HORRIBLE. Well horrible in the morning. And to put it very honestly...she broke me down. There was so much fighting and kicking and squirming during our morning get ready routine that we both ended up in tears on the way to and at daycare. Yes...I ugly cried for the daycare manager about how I didn't know what was wrong with my toddler but it was just "one of those mornings". Now I am pretty sure that she thinks that Sydney is out of control and that I don't know how to handle her. Which is a sentiment that I am fearing may be right as well. Cory isn't the picture of perfect patience either so I think it stresses me out even more when she misbehaves because I know if it is bothering me that he is about to go insane. I try to stay so calm. I try not to raise my voice. I try to calm her down with words to get her to start verbalizing and stop with the "EH! EH! EH! EH!" as she is pointing at what she likes. I am trying to not tell her "no" so much but to start guiding her to something else or doing something different. I thought that would help me have some control but not be so demanding on her. But apparently that doesn't do anything and only makes me look like I have no control. Then if I try to be forceful and show her "who is boss", she has the same reaction. Oh and we are at the "legs just lost their bones" falling and kicking and screaming stage. At that point I just walk away. I don't know if that is right either. So who knows. I have no idea what I am doing. But I am trying to figure it out.

She really is like super cute though. and super smart. She is eating completely independently with a spoon, at least with her yogurt. It makes me proud. She is counting on her own now from 1-10. ABC's are coming out clearer. And we sing songs like B.I.N.G.O, Where is thumpkin?, and many more. So the point is that although she has me emotionally drained from the terrible two's, I still love her to pieces and she is the highlight of my life.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Baby Boy Wright

So I am not sure if I have mentioned this before on here (shame on me if I have not) but my sister-in-law Leslie is pregnant and due to give us our second little baby on March 15th. Second baby in the group but not second grand"baby" I should say. Leslie has a 13 year old (?I think he is 13 now) son James and then Cory has Ella so we inherited some extra "babies", but Sydney and Baby Boy Wright are the first real babies during our time. Leslie and Brett got married in September of 2010 and I could not be more excited that they are about to welcome BBW in about a month. I will be abbreviating him as BBW since they do not yet have a name chosen for him. Again, I am so excited to have a little baby nephew and to watch my brother experience the amazing feelings that come along with the beginning stages of parenthood. His experience will be different because he already IS a parent. He is a GREAT parent to James so every knows of course that he will be fantastic, but now he gets to experience all of the joy from the start.

Thinking about him getting to this stage, and the very brief conversations that I have had with him, I am remembering all of the anxiety that comes along with that 1 month to go feeling. But nonetheless, I know that the anxiety is always that much worse than how it turns out. It always works so much better than you worry it will once that little joy is in your arms.

This weekend was Leslie's shower and since they are in Madison, WI and we are in VA...I wasn't able to be there. But my mom was able to book a ticket about 2 weeks ago so that she could *surprise* Brett and Leslie by showing up today. I wish that I could have seen that. I love surprises. Other people's surprises always make me cry and I definitely would have cried to be able to see this. Brett and I pulled off the ultimate surprise about 6 (wow) years ago when we flew him in from CA to surprise my mom at her college graduation ceremony. It was amazing ha ha. So I can only imagine how amazing this was. Anyways, I have stolen a few pictures from other people from yesterday already so I will do a slight photo drop here just for my own enjoyment.

 I love this stinking picture LOL
Sue, my Grammie, Leslie, and my Mom
 Add one hairy Wright ha ha
 Adorable cake!
At the risk of sounding creepy...I want to rub that bump!!! I will honestly say that I refuse to be the random person that tries to touch people's bumps but for family---they would not be so safe ha ha

I am also pretty sure that no one reads my blog so I have no problems posting this next picture. We all know my resolution to be more creative this year. So the idea of cross stitching came up and although Cory is giving me a hard time about it, I am jumping in. In addition to sending some necessities up to Brett and Leslie before BBW comes, I am going to start this piece for them. I will have to wait until he comes to finish it obviously but I am pretty excited for it to get here this week so I can start. Have I ever mentioned my love for Amazon?


Friday, February 10, 2012

My Time...

Today I did something that I NEVER do... Well I should rephrase...Today I did something that I have never had the OPPORTUNITY to do.

Truth be told...I have really been feeling crappy for about 2 weeks now. I have very poor drainage in my sinuses because of crazy inflammation from allergies and really bad ears in terms of drainage (and hearing) so sicknesses just tend to stick with me for longer. For the last few days this week I have been in training and haven't been able to take any sick time and for the next 5 weeks or so I will be in training and then after that we are in the thick of tax season. So I chose today as the last available day that I had to try to get better. So I did it...I called in sick to work.

*sigh* It has been so nice.

Cory got me a gift card for a massage/mani/spa pedi package at Knuckles N Knots for Christmas and I used it today. Yes you heard that right. Not only did I call in sick today to try to get better, but I furthered that goal by going and pampering myself. Hold the mother freakin' presses. lol. And I don't feel bad about it either.

I also came home and spied on my baby girl, because I can't access her daycare's cameras at work.

I also worked on invitations to my bestie's "thing" that we are putting together for right before her wedding (it is neither a bridal shower or a bachelorette party). They are super cute and I am hoping to send them out...today.

Other than that...I am resisting (and it is very hard to resist) the urge to do something productive. I have a mental list of things that would be perfect to get done. And I am not doing a single one of them. Part of resistance was writing this blog. It definitely helped. Everyone should take advantage and have one of these days. It is very good for the soul. And I am even thinking that I am going to take a nap here soon :) Gotta be quick though. Only 2 more hours until I am back to Mommy duty.

Happy weekend!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Chuck E Cheese!

So this past weekend we went to Chuck E Cheese for a fun day with Nana and Opah. It was Sydney's first time going and she definitely (for the most part) enjoyed herself. At some points, we kind of felt as if Nana and Opah were there so that Mommy and Daddy could get away with playing like kids. We were pretty excited and had a great time!

 Skeeball!

 Someone was not a fan of the rides at first---takes after her Mommy!


Slides are our favorite! 

Popping bubbles!

 Daddy was so good at the games



We finally found a ride we could be ok with!


Why did it stop?