When I Must Leave You...

If anyone else just cannot stay away from pop culture gossip and events like me, you probably tuned in for at least some of Whitney Houston's funeral a couple weeks ago. Confession---during one part I actually burst into tears. The reason? One of the speakers read a poem that I remember from my Grandma's funeral service...or my Great-Grandfather's funeral service which was only 3 months after that. I am having a hard time remembering these details. I think what is more relevant is that I kept both of their service programs and in my scrapbook, this is the poem that I have on my pages devoted to her. She was, and is, by far one of my most favorite people in the entire world. I miss her so much. I would trade pretty much anything in the world for just one more day with her so that I could make sure she knew how much she means to me and that she could spend the day with Sydney and Cory. She would love both of them. But I am also of the mindset that she does spend her days with Sydney and with Cory. And when I meet her in Heaven she will tell me how well I did by choosing Cory and how great we did in raising Sydney. But again I digress...

On Thursday night, my maternal grandfather passed away. In 1998, he fought cancer and beat it. This affected his neck region and his treatment included removing all of his lymphnodes. During radiation, a hole was created in his esophagus. Since then, it has been a challenge for his body to receive nourishment because food literally falls in through hole. The other side of this is that the particles go into his lungs and created problems that way. Over time it just wore his body down. I should also explain that my relationship with him was very minimal for reasons outside of my control. As part of his extended family, I find peace that he is no longer in pain. He had been in hospice care since November and at the end, machines were controlling all aspects of his existence. His body had just failed him and he was ready to go, attempting to rip out the cords and pieces that were keeping him alive whenever he had the slightest bit of consciousness. My deepest deepest sympathy goes out to everyone who is hurting with his passing. Hopefully, they too will find solace in the below poem...

When I Must Leave You

by Helen Steiner Rice

When I must leave you
For a little while-
Please do not grieve
And shed wild tears
And hug your sorrow to you
Through the years,

But start out bravely
With a gallant smile;
And for my sake
And for my name
Live on and do
All things the same,

Feed not your lonliness
On empty days,
But fill each waking hour
In useful ways,

Reach out your hand
In comfort and in cheer
And I in turn will comfort you
And hold you near;

And never, never
Be afraid to die
For I am waiting for you in the sky!